


Flirt

by freshavocadosforfeetpics



Series: Deputy Rook Goes Off The Rails In The Worst (Best) Way Possible [1]
Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:55:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21702562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freshavocadosforfeetpics/pseuds/freshavocadosforfeetpics
Summary: The deputy can't keep her mind out of the gutter or her taunts off the radio.And it is really starting to piss Jacob off.
Relationships: Female Deputy | Judge & Jacob Seed, Jacob Seed/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Deputy Rook Goes Off The Rails In The Worst (Best) Way Possible [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564294
Comments: 14
Kudos: 86





	1. Sleepless

It's official.

Jacob Seed is going to kill the deputy.

Fuck the project, fuck trying to save the little bitch.

He's going to kill her.

That stupid voice is barely registering in his brain anymore, for his mind is only on the ways he is going to kill her and hide her body. Fuck, he hates her voice, the teasing lilt in her tone, the endless hopes and dreams she conveyed without needing to elaborate. A natural born leader with a heart of gold and a bloody steel bat. 

Jacob has also decided that he is going to kill her with that bat of hers. The steel object, painted with bliss flowers, the seven sins and wolves, a mockery that the resistance and herself find hysterical, a weapon that has been used to crack skulls all over Hope County, all with a wide grin and without an inch of remorse. She takes it everywhere, as iconic as Faith's flowers, his own rifle and Joseph's sunglasses.

Her voice cuts through his rage. Fuck, all he wants to do is attempt to get some sleep but this little bitch won't shut her trap.

"Come on Jake'n'Bake, give me your number, I get so lonely at night." He can practically hear the pout in her voice, the cackle of a laugh barely held back. "Come on papi, pleaseee!"

Jacob knows that replying will only give her the satisfaction she seeks, and he will never be allowed to live it down.

Across the river, all the way down in Falls’s End sits the resistance hero, Deputy Rook. The young woman sits lazily at a stool in the Spread Eagle, after hours. Mary May had long since gone to bed, long before Rook has shown up bloody and broken. Rook considered waking her up, maybe get some help with some stitching, but ultimately decides against it. The woman is running on fumes these days, especially with the Testicle Festival coming up.

And so, instead of waking her up, Rook took a place at the bar, used a single emergency candle and stitched her wounds with shaking hands. And of course decided to tease the eldest Herald.

"Hey Jakey!" Rook pauses momentarily before shaking her head. Of course he doesn't answer. "Do you have a band-aid? 'Cause I scraped my knee falling for you!" Rook can't stop the giggle that erupts.

Jacob glares at the ceiling, seriously considering turning the fucking radio off. He banishes the thought, knowing his luck, Rook would attack another outpost while he is radio silent. Fuck he hates her.

"Ooh ooh, I've got a good one." He can practically hear the elation in her voice. Why the fuck is she always so happy? God! It's infuriating! She continues. "Can you please hold my hand? 'Cause I want to tell my friends I've been touched by an angel."

He sighs slightly. He has to admit that some of them are good. It doesn't make him hate her any less, only makes her more infuriating.

A small gasp of air comes over the radio, and Jacob tilts his head at it. Rook grimaces as she botches one of her stitches, slipping and digging the needle in too deep. A quiet curse comes from her. "Fuck sake."

There's a pause. "I don't suppose you could tell John to lay off the bliss bullets, eh? Especially when I'm near a fucking ditch." Rook rolls her eyes. "Also, they seriously need to learn how to shoot, unlike your guys. Your guys are fuckin' assholes, I haven't had this many shots since high school, if you get my drift."

Just another reference to how young the Deputy is. Jacob sometimes hates how similar she is in age to John, albeit a couple years younger. He feels the slightest prick of sympathy for her, not as a person of course, but as a soldier. Bullet wounds fucking suck, he would know.

"Okay, I've got another one." Jacob suppresses a groan. "I lost my teddy bear. Can I please sleep with you instead?" Jacob runs a calloused hand down his face in exasperation, fucking hell.

"Ahh fuck me." Jacob's eyes widen the slightest fraction. "Yikes, that is one nasty cut. Seriously though, who the fuck pissed in the wolverine's cereal?"

Jacob can't stop the groan of annoyance this time and rolls over, burying his head into his pillow.

"ROOK! GET OFF THE FUCKING RADIO AND GO TO SLEEP! FUCKING HELL!" Dutch's voice booms through the radio and jolts both Jacob and Rook.

"Ooh shit, I think I'm in trouble." Rook whispers inconspicuously through the radio as if it would make Dutch not hear. "Well I'm sure you heard the man. Night Jacko!"

Across the river, Rook finally sets down the bandages she had been using to wrap her wounds and stumbles into the spare room up the stairs, tugging off her jacket and jeans and falling into bed, out like a light.

With that the radio finally quiets and Jacob gets his peace and quiet. Finally slipping into darkness, Jacob finally sighs at the sweet relief. 

Fuck he hates her.


	2. Frustrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rook's flirting only gets worse and more obvious, and Jacob is apparently the only one feeling any consequences.

It was a few days before Jacob heard anything from Rook again. In fact, it was the first time for any of the Peggies. The young deputy had gone of the grid, doing only god knows what. When he finally does here any word of her, its a report from his Chosen telling him that she had taken Elk Jaw Lodge in the night, killing all the men inside. Rage rose inside him, but the smallest amount of pride could be noticed too.

She was strong, stronger than his men, if the mass graveyards were any consolation. 

The next time he hears her voice over the radio, it comes at a bad time. 

Jacob had just sat down at the table, with his brothers and sister. One of their fortnightly days where they would meet up for the sole reason of spending time with each other. John and Faith had been cooking (everyone knew that Joseph couldn't cook for shit), and the four of them had only just sat down. Needless to say, when Rook's mischievous voice seeps out of the radio situated on the table, Jacob just groans in anger. 

Joseph looks up from his steak, cocking an eyebrow as Rook addresses Jacob on the radio. John swirls a glass of wine, grinning at his older brother. Faith simply hummed in curiosity.

"Jakey! Have ya missed me?" Jacob just glares at his radio. "Why do I ask? Of course you did!" 

John stares at Jacob with a shit-eating grin. "What is that about brother?"

"Nothing, just plain idiocy." Jacob gruffs before hunkering back over his vegetables. "Dumb bitch doesn't know when to quit."

Joseph frowned slightly. "Language."

"I have had to deal with the little cunt for the past few weeks. I am so sick of her constantly fucking up my shit, killing my men and stealing my resources." Jacob snarls, anger directed at the radio.

John laughed. Of course he laughed, he feeds off the misery of others, light-hearted or no.

The radio continues, Rook's voice light and cheerful. "I have found the best pickup line in history. I found it written on a bathroom stall while I was hiding from Faith's little zombies. Wanna hear it?" Rook quietens for a moment, waiting for an answer. She receives none of course, figures.

Joseph's frown deepens. "What is the meaning of this brother?" 

Jacob groans, he's going to kill himself... or her. "She's been at it for a while, some-"

The radio cuts him off, "Okay, you ready?" There is a small pause.

"Hey baby, what's your favourite type of flower? I just want to know what type to put on your coffin after I fuck you to death." Rook pretty much cackles when she finishes. 

Rage rises in him, boiling red and uncontrollable. He hates her. He wants her dead. Jacob snatches the radio from the table, consequences be damned.

"One more word out of you deputy! And I will kill you, dismember your body and feed you to my judges!" He growls into the microphone, low voice, conveying anger that she would not respect. The deputy's laugh calms down to a small giggle. Jacob glances up to see Faith looking at him in amusement, Joseph with cool confusion and John with a grin usually only reserved for the most sinister of events.

The deputy's next words tip Jacob over the edge.

"Oooh kinky!" Rook's voice is light and amused. "I was wondering if you could hear me or not, now I'm just hurt that you have obviously been ignoring me." He can practically feel the pout on her lips (he's right though, she is pouting). "You know how many brain cells it took to come up with these? All three of them, collectively. I had to borrow one of Sharky and the other two off of Jess!" 

Jacob's eyebrows scrunch together, what the fuck is she on about? Sharing brain cells, only having three? Jesus Christ, he must be getting old.

"What the fuck did I just say?! Shut the fuck up!" He's shouting now. What the fuck? He doesn't shout, like ever. He's supposed to be cool, calm and collected.

"You're so angry, I hope that continues in bed!" Rook is grinning, he can just tell.

Before Jacob can reply, and most likely make more of a fool out of himself, John snatches the radio from his hand. Jacob startles, he didn't even notice him stand up. Sloppy, he reprimands himself.

"Depu-tee.... must I add Lust to your list of sins?"

Jacob felt his face warm, fuck sake and stands to grab at the radio. John smirks at him and jumps away, childish, so fucking childish. Jacob glares at his younger brother, rounding the table to run at him, face conveying murder. John, who was just about to continue talking into the radio, swears loudly, with both the entire family and Rook hearing him. Rook is laughing, a hearty sound with enough warmth to heat a home. Jacob tackles his brother to the ground and wrenches the radio off of him.

"My men are coming for you Deputy." Jacob snarls into the radio, sending out a beacon to all soldiers in the Whitetail region to find and capture the young deputy. 

"I tell you what, if there are handcuffs involved, I'll come..... guess the keyword." There are shouts coming from the other side. Screams to follow the Father's plan. Gunshots. 

Everything goes quiet. Jacob stares at the radio, while his brothers and sister watch his every move and emote with confusion.

"One last thing." Jacob's holding his breath. "Boom." Her voice is mischievous but cruel. The sound of an explosion destroys the silence, loud. A thought crosses Jacob's mind. What the fuck did she just do?

Within seconds, every radio in the area is exploding with noise, screaming of men and women who all scramble to detail what happened.

A Chosen bursts through the door. "The Sinner just blew up the Green-Busch Fertilizer factory!" 

Any amusement or mirth on John's face vanished in an instant. "She fucking what?" The Chosen repeats his words. "I swear to god..." His voice starts to rise as he snatches his wine glass off of the table and pegs it at the wall, the sound of shattering making the Chosen flinch. "I'm going to kill this whore!"

Jacob tries to expel the feeling of pride and awe in his chest. He knows for a fact that the factory was one of the more secure outposts, and the fact that the deputy managed to succeed in destroying it made him feel warm inside.

The radio crackles to life for the last time that day.

Her manic laugh fills the room as John pants in pure rage. 

"I HOPE YOU HAD FUCKING INSURANCE JOHN!" She sounds half crazed, and there is another laugh in the background, one Jacob wishes he couldn't identify as the fire loving eccentric Sharky Boshaw.

She must be recruiting.

Jacob doesn't like it.


	3. Dance Dance Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rook goes on a manhunt..... for fashion

Rook was having a small dilemma.

"This is such bullshit! Fuck sake!"

Boomer cocked his head to the side, gazing up at her. Rook stopped storming around the small store for a moment to scratched behind his ears, mumbling about him being a good boy.

"What the fuck is your problem now?" Jess Black rolls her eyes, picking at her nails with a sleek knife, sitting on a comfy looking couch. Hot, screamed Rook's mind. She shakes her head.

"You know how there is a party tonight at the Spread Eagle?" Jess nods her head. "I have nothing to wear."

"You're fucking with me right?" 

Rook slumps to the ground, pouting. "I need to look good."

"Why? It's only a party."

"Because I haven't had the chance to dress up good in ages. Plus why the fuck does John Seed get to live it up in his Gucci while I have to deal with fucking flannel?"

Jess raises an eyebrow at her friend. "You're not gonna find any Gucci in Hope County, dep. At least not in any store."

Rook nods her head sadly. Jess pats her on the back awkwardly. Before long Rook's head raises a little bit, a light bulb look on her face. "You're right, I'm not gonna find it in any store. But I know where I can find some."

Jess looked at her in horror as realisation hits her. "No! That is not what I fucking meant!" It's too late as Rook jumps to her feet and takes off, yelling out a bye. Boomer barks at her as the canine and hunter chase after a seemingly insane Deputy.

"Fuck, Rook don't you fucking dare!" A maniacal laugh floats on the wind. Soon enough Jess begins to slow down, Boomer staying with her. Huffing quietly, Jess gives Boomer a good pat while sighing through her teeth, watching the deputy zoom off, apparently undeterred by the weight of her pack and rifle.

"That girl is gonna get herself killed I swear." Jess shakes her head before going back to the store in search of something of use.

It doesn't take Rook long before John's ranch comes into view. It takes even less time to sneak through the guards and in through house. It's tastefully decorated with all the things a rich man would want. However in Rook's eyes it just feels like he's compensating for something. 

Before long, Rook manages to find John's room after opening and shutting door after door after door. The room is massive, with heavy lace curtains and sleek furniture and a double bed fit for a king. Rook can't help but jump onto it, quite possibly the softest thing she has felt for a while. Rook sinks into the mattress and sighs slightly, extremely tempted to close her eyes and take a nap.

But alas, the deputy pushes herself up from the bed and skips over to the closet. The clothes are pretty much all brand names and a devilish smile rises to her face. Pushing through the clothes, Rook eventually settles on a white Tommy Hilfiger button up, the top few buttons undone to show a bit of her skin and a short Chanel skirt that must have been left by some rich ass woman. Looking in the mirror, Rook gave a little twirl, loving the way the skirt swished.

"Fuck yea, this is what I'm talking about!" Grinning one last time in the mirror, Rook stashed her other clothes in her pack and was getting ready to leave when something caught her eye.

John Seed's iconic coat, the one with the planes and expensive material. Rook reached out and dragged a finger over the fabric. This would so piss the fuck out of John. With a final contemplative sigh, Rook swept the coat off the hanger and slid her arms into the sleeves. Rook huffed slightly and rolled the sleeves up, lanky bastard.

With that, Rook got the fuck out of there and made her way to the Spread Eagle. Not before hiding all of John's toiletries, even going as far as too throw his toothbrush out the window, that is.

"Ahh dep, you made i-" Mary May cut herself off. "Now where the fuck would you find clothes like that?"

Rook gave a dangerous grin. "John Seed's closet."

"Bullshit! You broke into that fucker's ranch?"

"Sure did. And I'm keeping the fucking clothes, gonna claim them as a raise."

"You are fuckin incredible, you know that?" Mary May gives Rook a hearty clap on the back before sliding a cold beer towards her. "On the house."

Rook gives her a saucy wink. "Thanks babes."

Before long Rook is fairly well wasted, having chatted with anyone and everyone, dancing on the makeshift dance floor, grinding between on some random man and woman, who are just as drunk as she is. Greedy hands make her tilt her head back, raking one hand through the man's hair, the other sliding down the curve of the woman. Her memory gets a little hazy after that but she distinctly remembers the three of them stumbling out the back door, all grabbing hands and tugging. And lots of kissing.

When Rook awakes the next morning, she is greeted with a splitting headache and a deep set chill. Sitting up, she notices that she is surrounded by deep green trees, vibrant mosses and the sound of running water. The next thing she notices is that she is only wearing her underwear and John's coat, and that her body is very much covered in hickeys.

"Fuck." Rook curses under breath.

"Fuck indeed, deputy." A deep voice sounds behind her.

"Oh shit." Barely a whisper, but by the smug smirk on Jacob Seed's face, she can tell he heard it.


End file.
